Have you noticed how you often have to prioritize when making a decision especially when it involves a choice among many? Also particularly when it is unlikely that you would get all the characteristics desirable in the object of your desire?
Now imagine that after applying for a ton of published vacancies, going for that many interviews, and finally receiving 3 job offers your friend excitedly calls you to tell you that they’ve decided on which job offer to accept. You are excited for
them but on further inquiry as to how they reached their decision, they tell you that they chose the job because they would have an office in a high-rise building that affords them a great view of the city.
While that is a nice benefit if it comes with the job, it certainly is foolishness to base one’s decision on that. You would expect consideration for things like how well their competencies and skills are suited to the job; the workplace climate; the demands of the job in terms of time commitment, responsibilities and expectations; and perhaps the potential for career advancement. These to mention a few are certainly by far more important than a window view, which by the way doesn’t get the job done!
Similarly, what would be the weightier issues when making a decision about marriage? While having a spouse with exquisite physical features or one with mind-blowing talents, or one from a certain socio-economic pedigree or one in an esteemed profession sounds nice, none of these often desirable characteristics actually make for a good marriage.
It’s the character-based characteristics like integrity, commitment, loyalty, honesty, faithfulness, sense of responsibility, selflessness, etc. that are foundational to the success of the covenant relationship called marriage.
In a nutshell: Making a marriage decision based on superficial factors like physical attributes, financial gain, societal status or profession (to mention a few) is like building a house without a proper foundation. Under the onslaught of weather elements (much like the pressures of life) such a structure is unlikely to hold up.
5 For those who are living according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh [which gratify the body], but those who are living according to the Spirit, [set their minds on] the things of the Spirit [His will and purpose].
6 Now the mind of the flesh is death [both now and forever—because it pursues sin]; but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace [the spiritual well-being that comes from walking with God—both now and forever]; [Romans 8:5 – 6; Amplified]
To do: Before you make that lifetime commitment ask yourself, what are my priorities – are the characteristics that rank high up on my “list” majors or minors?